Bloggo’s Best Canned Meat

Too Funny For Words- Misused, misspelled and misconstructed at best

This is one of those hilarious Nigerian scam, sham, flim-flam, phish, emails I was fortunate enough to receive in my email spambox. These idiots might do better if they learned how to spell, construct a sentence, etc., etc. The most incredible thing is that these frauds actually have success preying on other idiots.  I picked this one out to share due to its humorous value. It’s funny as hell yet sad when you think that there are actually those that fall for this lunacy. Like W.C. Fields once said ( I think it was he that said it) “There’s a sucker born everyday.” -Bloggo

—————————————- ENJOY! ————————————–

THIS IS THE (F.B.I)
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C.
20535-0001
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI)

ATTENTION DEAR,

THIS IS THE FINAL WARNING YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE FROM ME DO YOU GET ME, I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MANY TIMES THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT TO YOU.

WE HAVE BEEN WARNED SO MANY TIME AND YOU HAVE
DECIDED TO IGNORE OUR E-MAILS OR BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE WE HAVE NOT BEEN INSTRUCTED TO GET YOU ARRESTED, AND TODAY IF YOU FAIL TO RESPOND BACK TO US WITH THE PAYMENT, THEN WE WOULD FIRST SEND A LETTER TO THE MAYOR OF THE CITY WHERE YOU STAY AND DIRECT THEM TO CLOSE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND BE JAILED, ALL YOUR
PROPERTIES WILL BE CONFISCATED BY THE FBI.

WE WOULD ALSO SEND A LETTER TO THE COMPANY/AGENCY
THAT YOU ARE WORKING AND FOR SO THAT THEY COULD GET YOU FIRED UNTIL WE ARE THROUGH WITH OUR INVESTIGATIONS BECAUSE A SUSPECT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT OR ANY PRIVATE ORGANIZATION.

YOUR ID WHICH WE HAVE IN OUR DATABASE BEEN SENT TO ALL THE CRIMES AGENCIES IN AMERICA FOR THEM TO INSET YOU IN THEIR WEBSITE AS AN INTERNET FRAUDSTERS AND TO WARN PEOPLE FROM HAVING ANY DEALS WITH YOU.

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN SOLVED ALL THIS WHILE IF YOU HAD GOTTEN THE CERTIFICATE SIGNED, ENDORSED AND STAMPED AS YOU WHERE INSTRUCTED IN THE E-MAIL BELOW.

THIS IS THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) AM WRITING IN RESPONSE TO THE E-MAIL YOU SENT TO US AND AM USING THIS MEDIUM TO INFORM YOU THAT THERE IS NO MORE TIME LEFT TO WASTE BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN FROM THE 3RD OF JANUARY. AS STATED EARLIER TO HAVE THE DOCUMENT ENDORSED, SIGNED AND STAMPED WITHOUT FAILURE
AND YOU MUST ADHERE TO THIS DIRECTIVES TO AVOID YOU BLAMING YOURSELF AT LAST WHEN WE MUST HAVE ARRESTED AND JAILED YOU FOR LIFE AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES
CONFISCATED. YOU FAILED TO COMPLY WITH OUR DIRECTIVES AND THAT WAS THE REASON WHY WE DIDN’T HEAR FROM YOU ON THE 3RD AS OUR DIRECTOR HAS ALREADY BEEN NOTIFIED
ABOUT YOU, GET THE PROCESS COMPLETED YESTERDAY AND RIGHT NOW THE WARRANT OF ARREST HAS BEEN SIGNED AGAINST YOU AND IT WILL BE CARRIED OUT IN THE NEXT
48HOURS AS STRICTLY SIGNED BY THE FBI DIRECTOR.

WE HAVE INVESTIGATED AND FOUND OUT THAT YOU DIDN’T
HAVE ANY IDEA WHEN THE FRAUDULENT DEAL WAS COMMITTED WITH YOUR INFORMATION’S/IDENTITY AND RIGHT NOW IF YOU ID IS PLACED ON OUR WEBSITE AS A WANTED PERSON, I BELIEVE YOU KNOW THAT IT WILL BE A SHAME TO YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE
FAMILY BECAUSE AFTER THEN IT WILL BE ANNOUNCE IN ALL THE LOCAL CHANNELS THAT YOU ARE WANTED BY THE FBI.

AS A GOOD CHRISTIAN AND A HONEST MAN, I DECIDED TO SEE HOW I COULD BE OF HELP TO YOU BECAUSE I WOULD NOT BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU END UP IN JAIL AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES CONFISCATED ALL BECAUSE YOUR INFORMATION’S WAS USED TO CARRY OUT A FRAUDULENT TRANSACTIONS, I CALLED THE EFCC AND THEY DIRECTED ME TO A PRIVATE ATTORNEY WHO COULD HELP YOU GET THE PROCESS DONE AND HE STATED
THAT HE WILL ENDORSE, SIGN AND STAMP THE DOCUMENT AT THE SUM OF $750USD ONLY AND I BELIEVE THIS PROCESS IS CHEAPER FOR YOU.

YOU NEED TO DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE WITHIN TODAY AND
TOMORROW TO GET THIS PROCESS DONE BECAUSE OUR DIRECTOR HAS CALLED TO INFORM ME THAT THE WARRANT OF ARREST HAS BEEN SIGNED AGAINST YOU AND ONCE IT HAS BEEN APPROVED, THEN THE ARREST WILL BE CARRIED OUT, AND FROM OUR INVESTIGATIONS WE LEARN THAT YOU WERE THE PERSON THAT FORWARDED YOUR IDENTITY TO ONE
IMPOSTOR/FRAUDSTERS IN NIGERIA WHEN HE HAD A DEAL WITH YOU ABOUT THE TRANSFER OF SOME ILLEGAL FUNDS INTO YOUR
BANK ACCOUNT WHICH IS VALUED AT THE SUM OF $10.500,000.00 USD. I PLEADED ON YOUR BEHALF SO THAT THIS AGENCY COULD GIVE YOU THE 2011/07/06 SO THAT YOU COULD GET THIS  PROCESS DONE.
USE I LEARN THAT YOU WERE SENT SEVERAL E-MAIL WITHOUT GETTING A RESPONSE FROM YOU, PLEASE BEAR IT IN MIND THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO HELP YOU AT THIS MOMENT OR YOU WOULD HAVE TO FACE THE LAW AND ITS CONSEQUENCES ONCE IT HAS BEFALL ON YOU.

YOU WOULD MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH MONEY GRAM
TRANSFER OR WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE BELOW.

DETAILS.
RECEIVER NAME ==== OSUJI OBINNA
NARTINS
COUNTRY========== NIGERIA
CITY============== LAGOS
TEXT QUESTION==== URGENT
TEXT ANSWER=====
MATTER
AMOUNT=====$750USD
SENDERS NAME======

SEND THE PAYMENT DETAILS TO ME WHICH ARE SENDERS
NAME AND ADDRESS, MTCN NUMBER, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER USED AND THE AMOUNT SENT. MAKE SURE THAT YOU DIDN’T HESITATE MAKING THE PAYMENT DOWN TO THE AGENCY
BY TODAY SO THAT THEY COULD HAVE THE CERTIFICATE ENDORSED, SIGNED AND STAMPED MMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY.

AFTER ALL THIS PROCESS HAS BEEN CARRIED OUT, THEN
WE WOULD HAVE TO PROCEED TO THE BANK FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR COMPENSATION FUNDS WHICH IS VALUED AT THE SUM OF $10,500,000.00 USD WHICH WAS SUPPOSE TO HAVE BEEN TRANSFERRED TO YOU ALL THIS WHILE.

NOTE ALL THE CRIMES AGENCIES HAS BEEN CONTACTED ON
THIS REGARDS AND WE SHALL TRACE AND ARREST YOU IF YOU DISREGARD THIS INSTRUCTIONS.

ter which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of terrorism, money laundering and drug trafficking charges, so be warned not to try any thing funny
because you are been watched.

THANKS AS
I WAIT FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

RESPECTIVELY,

MR. RONALD T. HOSKO
FEDERAL BUREAU OF
INVESTIGATION

——————————————-HA HA HA LMAO!————————–

J. Edgar Hoover, director of the F.B.I, photog...

Image via Wikipedia

J  Edgar is rolling over in his grave chuckling to high heaven.

 Too  funny for words- even misspelled ones.
-Bloggo

PS- Could you cool it with the caps already!

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